The "now" story

Assalamualaikum,
Oh hey! It's me again!
OMG OMG I haven't been writing on this electronic for sooo loooooong.
And yeeeah My english is even rustier than the last time...Jeepers! Well,some people might thought that I am dead since I haven't been on this for so looooong.. I was thinking of establishing a NEW account, but then again, writing on this current won't do any harm.

Okay, so I'm in college already! Ya, I am college student now, am no longer a foreign exchange student . Oh well,FYI I've been changing college here and there. I am currently in UiTM now, majoring in Mass Communication. Before that I was already in college, well maybe not a college. It's KPT's matriculation. I got it in Gopeng, Perak. I went there. So much hope to be in Biological major, unfortunately I was given no choice but to be in Physics major. I cried. I sure did. Physics is never one of my favorite subject you know. At least I got a B4 for Biology and I love Biology. My dear mother told me to get on with it. So I did. I kept on telling myself, maybe I can do it, if I try really hard. You know study all the time, be a geek for two years, maybe more(for degree). Haha, I guess being science field is not destined for me, and absolutely not my thing. I think I was more on Languages and I do realize that I talks a lot.

You guys do know that I have always wanted to take TESL, but I can't.And so, I asked my former teacher, if there's any other course that I could take up and study, and is related to TESL. Her answer is, Mass Comm. So Mass Comm, here I come. Went for the interview and got accepted. So, that's what I am studying in now. Mass Comm. Obviously, mass comm isn't my first choice. I wanted TESL. But evidently, TESL is only available after SPM, and you have to go for an interview. Being in UiTM is so much better than in matrics. Before I left matrics for UiTM, like there's a lot of people who told me to self preserve, and be strong especially when they knew that I was going to take mass comm. Now I know why. Mass Comm's students were commonly known to be friendly, stylish, extrovert, talkative and SOCIALLY ACTIVE. So that's the fact. So far, thank god, I am still in a good shape. My veil hasn't fly away. To be more frank, I know I am so going through culture shock. And so, I kept telling myself to self preserve. Well, Ive been to the US and I can handle it, Why can't I do the same here. You know... I am not bragging, I was just convincing myself and other people.

I am currenly studying for my last paper. I thought it's killer paper. I have no idea of how much is carry mark for this subject. Oh, and btw the subject is SOCIOLOGY. fUUUH, although I didn't know the carry mark, but I think I didn't do so well. That's why I have to score for this finals. Gaaaaah, I can't believe that this semester is going to end, and we shall move on to the next semester. It feels just like yesterday, sitting on the chairs in the hall for Minggu Mesra Siswa(MMS), it feels just like yesterday, that I started meeting and talking to my classmates, and it feels just like yesterday where we started having to do assignments and all. Time is ticking at it's fastest pace now. It's been a year now. Since I am back from the US. I, from the bottom of my heart doesn't like to say YEAR when I was referring to the comeback from the US. I wish it could have been one month ago, last week, or even yesterday. That would be much better. The word last year upsets me all the time.

And I miss all my american friends. Malaysian friends sometimes sucks. They sometimes didn't even realize that I even exist. How's that? Uggghhh, I miss america, well comparing to my current friends now to my american friends might be wayyyy to much that it might cause some issues to some people. Well then again, I think my Malaysian high school friends are much more fun than they are. Ugggh, I miss all of my old friends. Ugggh, people here in my college are so self-centered. And they gossip a lot. Even I got infected by that! Oh even guys gossips. They gossip like a girl to make it more juicy! Ugggggh.

Oh ya, I missed mum so much, that I decided to call her just now. We talked until my minutes ran out. Oh how I missed her. I dreamt of her last night in fact. Huh, when will I get to be back in the US, SPECIFICALLY MINNESOTA! maybe I should do my degree there!Woot wooot that'll be super awesome. Oh, crap. I am not finish doing my notes to study. I better get going now. I am getting sleepy and sleepier. And one more thing, I'll be going back to Malacca and sit for Sociology paper on Wednesday, and be back home on the same fortunate day! So, talk to you later ok. Toodles. And wish me luck. Break a leg ashiqin! You can do it. You know you can!

My journey~

Assalamualaikum,
It's been so long since my last post here.....and my English is getting rusty and rustier day by day! LOL Sooooo,I am safely back from The United States of America.I have a lot to tell!OKOK lemme start with the the day before I leave Minnesota!

Ok,I didn't do anything bizzare on that day,except for taking pictures at the flowery-Fertile-sign....and mum drove to fertile fair site since I won't be there when the fertile fair was held! which was reallllly bad because they say Fertile Fair is AWESOME!We went for a drive with Tot too!Ah I miss tot! Oh oh oh I also spend some time visiting the grave...which makes me wonder,why mum brought me there?ok I know that there is Dad's grave,but we do not only visited dad's grave,but we also visited other people's grave.......and that was on Sunday!and I've finished packing!! Awesomeness! before I forgot,at night Lisa,David came to mum's house....We hugged!and that's not an ordinary every-day hug....that is a goodbye hug! I cried so hard..I still remember Lisa said she won't be able to send me together with mum to Moorhead,because she was busy with her house in Crookston,and it would cause so much emotional blow up for Tot!and David did the same too...I miss everybody!

the next day....
I woke up,took a shower,and get ready to go to Moorhead..
Sara,Lisa,David Hull,Beanie,Tot,and Brianna was there in the house....AAAAH THIS MAKES ME SAD! okok settle down,and so mum made me tuna macaroni(my fav) and chocolate puding(which is the best thing ever) so,I've finished my food! It's time to say goodbye....This time is soo baddd!!.....Tot cried so bad,Brianna said he wasn't supposed to cry,but then she cried!I cried too....

Time

Assalamualaikum,
Dear Blog,
I don't know what is my feeling right at this moment....I still have another 6 more weeks to go....Today is just plain boring! I knew having school end is just the worst that could happen to me! It's just boring,because I have to stay at home and do nothing and plus I'll be stranded in my room or in this small striking blue house without any PC nor internet! because I'm pretty sure that I have to return this piece of technology sooner at least before grad which means next week and that also means this might be my last entry for this blog here in Minnesota!

Since it's the end of school year,and it also means that i still have some little time to be spend in this oh-so-big-and-good town of fertile,people around me keep on asking me....I bet you are excited to go home huh?I bet u miss ur parents huh? have u started counting days yet?GOSH it's driving me crazy!! because I don't what to answer!I love fertile,mn but I don't enjoy the idea of being at home with my host mum because all she has to do is sit at home and clean up her house....do i have to do that every week?I know I'm an exchange student but that does not mean that I have to stay at home all the time!!I am not that kind of person....and I don't know what is going to happen when I go home everything won't be the same!AAAARGH!!
and when everybody go home with some interesting facts about their places while I will go home with all history of the Gullekson family including the history of each saucer,plates,bottles in this house!

I don't know!!Blame me for being so ungrateful but that's the reality!and my host mum....gaaaaah all she knows is complaint!!!!!I don't like it....and she wants everything to be perfect!! and I should say that I don't like living with some perfectionist....I know my Ibu is somewhat a perfectionist too but I don't she don't really care about small matter!!!Gaaaah it drives me craazy!

I don't know what to expect now!Sometimes I feel like 6 weeks is short but thinking about those days that I still have to put with her makes me feel like 6 weeks is way too long....I am seriously going to miss my girls!......Karisa,Brittany,Kennedy,Ashley,Maren and Karlee! I'm going to miss them like crazy....they actually like me.....they appreciate me!They accept for who I am!

My malaysian friend never do that!Nobody in Malaysia makes me feel so pretty and capable...Malaysian people likes to underestimate me.....I like Fertile,MN,but I guess if I live with whoever is capable of "hosting a child" would be better than this....but whateva....I still love my host mum.....she's an old lady!and I also have to accept that it is not easy to open up ur house for some strangers to live in your house for free....I love the Gullekson's family anyway....They will be in my mind forever....I also love fertile-beltrami people.....they made my american experience wonderful...they try their best to let me have the best high school times!I'M GOING TO MISS EVERYTHING HERE!

Don't misunderstand me! Me complaining about my host mum and saying that I miss home doesn't mean I don't enjoy my time here.....I enjoy and cherish every single moments here....It's a bittersweet journey for me!either it's good or bad....It's a part of learning....makes me understand human better than anyone else..and I hope I change to be a better person and more mature about everything in life and never take anything for granted! Now I know why some people says experience is the best teacher!It is true indeed!

anyway,just to tell you....I'll be having my graduation party on this wednesday after baccalaureate!I have invited all my teachers and also friends....there's nothing to expect!
Insyaallah I will give a full report by the next day!and graduation is on sunday may 24th!My shoulder is getting so soar and my tummy doesn't seems to cooperate with me by this time....so I better make my move to the bathroom!I'll write to u later!

xoxo,
Ashiqin

Happy mother's day!

Ibu
kakak sayang ibu sangat sangat
sampai kakak tak leh nak cakap dalam perkataan
kakak tak rindu org lain bile kakak jauh...
kakak rindu ibu!
Ibu walaupun kakak bukan lah anak ibu yang paling pandai
kakak nak ibu tahu kakak mahu buat apa aja yang buat ibu happy
kakak nak ibu sihat,kakak doakan ibu sentiasa bahagia,
walaupun keadaan tak mngizinkan
kakak nak minta maaf,
kakak tahu kakak banyak buat salah kat ibu
kakak bukan anak yang terbaik untuk ibu
tapi kakak sayang ibu sepenuh hati kakak
kakak sayang ibu
sejujurnya tak da orang lain yang boleh ganti ibu
tak da org lain yang boleh ambik tempat ibu dalam hati kakak
sejujurnya jauh daripada ibu buat kakak gelisah
kakak tak kisah pasal org lain
tapi kakak tahu kakak sayang ibu!
ibu adalah best friend kakak
tak boleh tipu
kakak share sume benda ngan ibu
ibu adalah ibu,kawan serta advicer kakak
ibu adalah the best!
I love you Ibu

Khas untuk my ibu ,Norazihal binti Daud~

Pig!

Assalamualaikum,
Dear Blog,
The title that i gave to this post is really eye catching and kind of rude somehow...but lemme explain....things has been "ok" these days....I am busy with all school stuff like softball,test,homework,and not to forget Prom!....Prom was awesome but honestly I do not like the idea having a date....people thinks it's fun but nooot me....I do not like wearing a dress and I do not like let my hand hang on other guy's hand....I hate that...I feel like I want puke on the spot....but everybody looks so pretty and dashing! let's get back to my post title....pretty amusing! but now everybody was talking about it! Swine Flu! a.k.a Selsema Babi or Pig flu! I am aware that Minnesota already have one case....but i have no idea where was it! and then during softball,Kiah Burke asked me about bad word in Malaysia....so I told her that calling people pig in malaysia is rude.....so,there she is at the bench at softball meet while I'm here backing up for third base shouting "BABI".....i just laugh! What can I do? She's just excited!...I just realize that so many things had happen in my life......either in malaysia or in United States!
In malaysia,Fairuz is so furious with me! Well,say what?I am not as tick off as she does! I am feeling good about myself for the first time.....you know how I felt about her....she thinks she knows everything and she is the best out of all.....she figured that people would never see her true self....WRONG,i see it with own eyes! She sent comment on myspace.....stupidly asking me "so ,u postponed plkn huh?when are u gonna go back?" WTH?she asked me that question?who is she?Has she ever care about me before we leave the school?" I say Never!!!! She don't even say goodbye on the last day of school! How's that?And now here she come with her stupid question....and she also asked me if i got accepted to both matriks and upu?GO TO HELL!! again who do you think you are? I knew she wanted to know something from me!! Then I start my reply like this"sorry to say this but mind your own business!" and then here she comes with her new fresh comment,thinking that she was right while me thinking that was just gay! saying "owh..sure can..tp ley x if ko jgn la blagak sgt.aku taula ko pandai.if xske pun,,dun be too arrogant.." wahahahh,Fairuz reading this comment makes me wants to lmao!! I feel so sorry for you....because your act does not work on me....saying me pandai?hahhaha that is a big mistake! she wanted to know that so badly she even uses reverse psychology? hahhaha jgnla blagak sangat?say what??? she never send me any comment after school is over,now only she is coming to sent something?" wahhahah klaka seyh!

While in USA,haih sometimes I no longer feel like I wants to go home because it seems like I also feels like I belong here and I realize that I WILL go HOME!! and this moment won't return again! I mean being an exchange student are on bizzare thing for me!.... well not only me but for other people too! School is almost over...I realize I'm getting more closer with more people....but still I can't erase the memory of SAKURA! She is always the best for them but I don't care....as long as I am happy with myself why would i be someone else to be liked....but I love Karissa Gullickson.....She's so nice...I love her.....For Brr Buddy! That's what she always say to me....and she always laugh at me.....she's so cute and kind....and she also have great BF,her bf is exactly what I want for myself.....hahhaha joking joking! but I realize people pay more attention to me....

Facebook was hectic! and plus with new member such as MC Yanti,Facebook has become the place for her to hang out now.....she likes to gives supportive comment! I love her too...I love you MC Yanti.....but still I love MY IBU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH! She always asked me when am i coming home so that she could feed me with malaysian foods.....she makes me feel loved....I feel like somebody care about me.....I feel so dear....including MC Milah...She always send me some love letter through Yahoo!.....I miss her so much.....she's the best God mother ever! She's the best! I love you too MC mILA!

ok ok I've been writing so much I need to go now.....My shoulder and my neck hurt like crazay!I need some massage too when I go back home!.....haiz.....I think I still can bear with it for another 2 months! hahah allrite write to you later ok! bye!

Location : Mum's house (dining table)
Song in HEAD : Jump on it by sir-mix-a-lot ~hahh~

Ke-lama-an

Assalamualaikum,
Dear Blog,
OMG....It's been so so long since I last really wrote here....I want to go home....with all this BABI flu,it's adding more miseries to my heart, and living with older people is not for me...She is nice,but sometimes she's just all picky and frustrating.....and living is in fertile is just not for me,and I just realize that my family is the best out of all this people....I like being in my country, but I will always hold on to this!! a lot of things happen after the trip to tennessee! I got a prom date which is eric nephew!!I dun what to say about him...and I am running low of money!! OMG i am so worried.....well i guess i am just so tired of being here...being all by myself!! I hate it!!

baju prom!!

ni khas untuk faezza salim kawan baekku dlam afs!!muahahah amek ko faezza!hihi