Monday, March 16, 2009

adoi!

Assalamualaikum,
Dear blog,
Haiz I'm so so tired.....Maaaaaaan,what a day!Well,today I woke up early to pray subuh prayer,then I get ready for school,Lisa called to give a ride to school....Fuih,I was lucky that Lisa gave a ride,the roads is covered with water now,it's so yucky!At school,me and Brianna went to the cafeteria and I had my breakfast,it was cereal and milk and pineapple....Brianna did not eat,she was busy reading her twilight.......aduh penat jgk lah aku ni membebel dalam bahasa org putih nih.....hari ni banyak pulak lah home work aku.....hargh aku paling benci homework....sampai je aku kat amerika ni aku paling tak ske homework! dulu kat Malaysia aku tak kisah sangat ngan homework ni sbb aku tau aku bulih buat,kalo aku tak leh buat pun,gi skola leh gak tanya tanya kengkawan aku yang cerdik pandai....haha tak pun kat skolah dah sah sah ada masa nak figure sume homework.....aduh kat sini sbb kte yang gerak bukan cikgu mcm kat malaysia so,susah gak lah.....hari ni homework aku consumer math,econ poster bodoh tu,lagi computer 1 and >Mrs.Halverson nak sume org siapkan satu worksheet pasal accounting...aduh aku paling lemah la dengan kredit,debit....paling menyampah skali,lagi aku ada bertimbun homework kat Speech class.....ala,boring nye....Aku agak Brianna dah agak bosan ngan aku,yelah sapa tak bosan,aku asyik menanya ahje....haih aku pun bulih boring tu....aku sapa Foreign Exchange Student je...bukan aku nak masuk kolej kat sini pun...huish tanak aku...aku nak blaja kat malaysia....hihihi blaja kat malaysia lagi memudahkan hidup aku...takyah susah2 carik makanan,tempat nak solat tak yah risau sangat......haih aku bersyukur aku dapat rasa macam mana duk jauh daripada ibu skaligus mengajar aku hidup di tempat org,dan memberi aku pengalaman untuk melancong acroos the blue ocean....haha haih betul aku syukur.....kalo tak mesti aku ingat yang duk luar negara ni best tahap gila gila punye....sampaikan aku ingat malaysia ni terok sangat....tak malaysia tak terok,aku bebas gerak dengan tudung di kepala,dan aku bebas makan benda tanpa perlu membeli sayur hijau yang buat aku makan sedikit.....lepastu pegi tadi aku isi borang mara...hmm tak tau lah dapat ke tak....haiz,tak dapat kot belambak lagi org yang daftar mara....ramai org nak mintak TESL,aku baca blog si ezza,die pun nak mintak TESL,tapi die pegh 6A....aku 3A je haiz....terok lah cam ni......haiz result aku tu ok ok aje,bukan nye excellent pun...hmm penat lah aku,asyik ngan keje je....ni aku baru siap satu worksheet aku yang mmg susah tahap gaban!...ok lah aku kene siapkan homework aku ni lepastu aku nak tido...penat sangat sebab hari ni ada practice softball,dan esk aku nak pakai tudung gi paractice,tamau jadi mcm hari ni tak pakai tudung,hidup tak aman!mampus lah org lain nak kutuk aku,ko tgk aku lagi bape bulan je,lepastu aku balik tempat aku balik....tapi rasanye tak de yang berani cakap mcm tu ket depan aku....kat belakang aku berani lah,depan aku tau gelak aje org putih ni penakut jgk....haih islam ni peaceful la.....oklah bye

Sunday, March 15, 2009

pergi church?

Assalamualaikum,
Dear blog,
amusing title,huh?I miss blogging....haha,well yeah I went to church this morning.....Well Finally I can pray,I have cleanse my self,I missed praying so much!So I went to church with Brianna and mum......well,it was ok,I know this issue is extremely sensitive but I don't have anything to make people feel offended or to make my religioun offended.I went there to see how American act when it comes to religious service.At the same time,going to church actually makes me miss going to surau so much......I'd love to listen how people recite some of the holy Al-Quran phrases....It makes me want to cry.....I am thinking of going to surau everytime i have my chacne to go there when I go back to Malaysia.....I just hope if i ever get to enter university i get to go to surau everyday or everyweek......When I was in the church I keeps on praying to Allah to keep my heart on His way,to stay with Him....Allah is the Almighty,I don't feel anything there,except feeling more I don't know ,I remember Allah in everything that I do....I does not bother me when they sing all the christian choir......,Let me remind you again this is not all about changing my religion and I don't have any intention to convert! I love my religion...I love Islam,It's the way of life! I love Allag and his messenger,Muhammad.People who goes to church is nice to me,and mum actually introduce me to them....well,there is some people who does not even know me,after the praying and everything everybody say welcome....well i was kind of like WTH too because I've been there for like 2 months already,and Fertile is a very small town!When I got home mum is cooking Coffee Blueberry cake.....before we ate,I chatted with Shamil,he was dissapointed with his result.....I was told that all of my friend got almost the same results as me,even the genius fairuz got 4a....That kind of surprise me too! Shamil,u are not a LOSER,u just need to find something that u really like!that's all and that advice applie to me too!haha...Then while we were eating Yaya called,she asked how am i doing here,than she asked me I f want to go to Tennessee,I said kind of shouted "YEAH" then she asked are you sure then I said Yeah! Then I giggled all the way....woo hooo with Dita tooo,o...Ouh I missed Dita so so much.....yay I will go there on the 27th of March which is like 12 days from now!I am so pumped....we are actually going to Dollywood....I know it's not popular,but oh well I am so excited,and mum told me they have a roller coaster and it was like a theme park!!!I am so pumped!i GET TO GO TO TENNESSEE

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

akhirnye....

Assalamualaikum,
Dear blog,
yay i got A1 for my English,I am so happy that i got A1 for my english....and guess what?I get A1 for general science toooooo....laugh my ass off or in short lmao hahahahahaha gila kentang...I earn something from something that I did not earn?whoah....that's really strange.....Well,I get lots of B'S.......and guess what i get B4 for sejarah....no kiddin!!! I keeps on laughing when I see my 4B's sejarah......it was crazay!I tell you...I never thought that I would get B for my sejarah.....I always thought that I would get well,a c or maybe d.......but berkat pengawas peperiksaan yg dok nolong aku waktu spm ari tu,Akhirnya...isk isk berjaya jgklah aku dapat b muahahahaha mmg aku hepi....aku tak kisah,walaupun aku dapat 3A aku tak kisah,janjinye english aku A...Yeye....bebudak afs yg lain 10a la,11a la.....mampus la aku tak kisah dah...janjinye aku dapat benda yg aku aim.....yg paling pelik nye science bulih a....mmg misteri nusantara!haha,lagi apa bio aku 4B,Physic ngan chemy aku 5C.....gile lah...mmg nunjukkan aku tak ske sume ni....lagi erm agama aku 4B ,lpstu Tasawwur aku 3B, WOW yg peliknye EST aku bulih plak lah die C,hampeh tul......ah ada lagi gempak,aku lepas add math.....gle kentang!hahaah pada aku oklah....average aku takde lah terok sangat....at least ada A.....oh oh lpe lak BM aku bulih plak die A2....haiz,mcm lah aku ni kat umah ckp bahse orang puteh....nak cakap sket pun dah kene sound dek adek2 aku yg sket pnye paranoid......nak buat mcm mana........mmg aku teros ke TESL....benda tu benda yang aku ske....takpun aku pegi ke journalism......best jgk tuh....aku tanak terlibat ngan science lagi....mungkin kalo science pun macam sosial sains(nak jadi mcm abah ke?,nanti kepala botak!hehe).....aku betul2 serik dek pengalaman lalu....aku tanak torture diri aku sendiri,nanti masa akan datang aku merana!! haiz....lega!aku dah tak risau lagi pasal result aku.......cantek la tu mke tak lawa,result tak berapa....haiz tulah aku!aku nak beli sesuatu untuk reward diri aku sendiri! mungkin dapat english tak sigificant kat org lain,tapi ianya sesangat berharga buat aku....tu yg aku pertaruhkan.....english!

tomorrow! failure or success

dear blog,
haiz......hari ni cuti lagi.Pagi tadi aku bangun dalam 8.54 tak silap....terus bangun ambik towel,gerak gi bathroom....I took shower,then I get dressed,while I switch my laptop on.I was chatting with Ibu,suddenly mum asked me "ashiqin,are you getting ready?",then I said "yeah",then she say"the school is off today!",then I was like "wth?" then I go out of my room to see mum.I told"ouh,I don't it to be closed today,I don't want to make it up on another day"I whined.....hmmm,looks like it! I hate snow storm,man Minnesota will never get over with all this snow! I go back into my room,chat back with my mum....then I called her,through skype! I was asking her about my results tomorrow...I can't believe that she forgot all about it.....then she say she may be going there after 10.00 tomorrow...then she said if abah go to work late,they will go together...Ya Allah,I can't take it anymore,I cried on the spot when we talked about my friends......then ibu talk to me about it....Everybody thinks that being in my-kind-of-situation is good,but the reality is I want to take my results! Taking my SPM results is one of the historical days in my life....I don't care if I don't take my PMR results by myself,but SPM is the last time where I get to be in school...I finally get to see my friends back after 4 months of break......this is getting ridiculous.....seriously,it's not that I don't like being here,it's just I want to be there....no wonder,the last time I met Pn.Pengetua,she was like not happy when she heard that I'm coming here,she say u gonna miss so much things in Malaysia,I try to deny of what she had say to me.I try to tell myself that its not true......but it turns that what she say is true!Argh this is killing me.....when I think about it.....I never get to apply for any scholarship in Malaysia,I never get to go for the interview.........***** Then I chatted with sarah I miss her so so much,I got comment from shamil.....my best friend,Imiss him so much!Then I asked him to online at yahoo,then we chatted together.....well talking to him on the web is better though,he is not as annoying as talking him live!..then he went to sleep,leave me without nothing to do.....Then I walk out of my room to eat,I made my self scramble egg with cheese....then mum went to her meeting until 3 something......i stayed in my room singing out loud.I googled for some cute stuff,and make up from dior....after that I try to scrapbook,but I just couldn't....I'm so hopeless now!Well then here I sign in my bog to write for what I feel for today.....when I think about it again I just couldn't control my self.....I feel tears pooling around my eyes....when i think again that there is a possibility that abah gonna take my results,it makes me so nervous....I don't want abah to be dissapointed hell i don't even want ibu to be dissapointed......enough with Ikmal....I don't want to add anymore miseries in their life......I want to make them proud of me...I don't ibu to be dissed by her friends...I want to be somebody who have quality of her own!.....I just hope that I get a good results....I just want to beat Izzat's results by at least one A....Remember I took 12 subjects.....so,please pray for my success.....

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

snow blizzard....oof duh!

Dear Blog,
Yeye I got a day off from school today! Well,of course do you want me to walk to school in this kind of weather?hell,no...I almost blown away by the strong wind,when I was climbing mum's house's staircase outside....ok wth is that? Yeah fertile start snowing on the 9th and we were at Lisa's,celebrating Loren's birthday!but it has gotten worse day by day.....geez,when is the snow gonna go away?we couldn't even do anything,just sit at home...buat bodo....nothing is nice about snow blizzard well,yeah except for school is cancelled,for me that's the best part.....I am not a school skipper,but I'm just tired...tired of school,I don't know what is so wrong with me!! maybe because I am going to American school,I could'nt do anything extra since I am an exchange student,and I came at the very last semester for all student.....which everybody had done the same thing for the past semester and I am still new,and doesn't know anything.....well I guess that what makes me feel so wrong!OKOK let's get back to my day yesterday......when I got back I check my mail,then I read the book that I borrowed from Brianna,while I was in the middle of reading suddenly I heard something.......It was my tummy,my tummy is begging for some food! geee tummy I just filled you at school just now,and I just ate one reese's and kit kat just now........well then I decided to eat cuppa noodles,and mum was like owh "ur eating cuppa noodles",then she told me that she wanted to make a mixof macaroni,cream of mushroom and tuna.....I told her that I have a big stomach!!!haha....then I make my self a cup of hot chocolate......then I called my ibu....I miss ibu so much,although I talked to her two days before!Well,I told her about the advertistment that I saw in JPA's website....it is all about scholarship for undergraduate 2010 to Japan for these course :
a)Social Science
b)Natural Science A(Biology)
c)Natural Science B (Physics)

well,up to know I still don't know what I want,I mean I still doesn't know what will I get!wheter straight A's(impossible),or no A's at all!Ourgh this kind of feeling had tortured me such a long time.It would make my stomach grouch,and I feel so sad!!!!I hate this kind of feeling,it makes me feel down,and I am not enjoying my stay in America at all.....well'good thing I don't have to take it by myself though,I don't want to face Ce ding,I don't want to face Yu-an,Sarah,Shamil,Pushpa and especially Allen! They are all so good! I am no good at academic!!Argh...well then ibu say WAIT!! for your result! She said she is going to apply for maktab perguruan also....gee hahaha I'm going to be a .teacher..what to do? It's in my blood,all of my opah's kids is a teacher well at least they teach LIKE MY IBU!!She's a teacher before,that's why I am so good at bm hahahah because she is a Malay Language teacher before I was born.....I wonder if Ibu taught History,do u think I would be good at it....I swear I'm not gonna get good result for History,Ibu is going to shake her head when she see my History's result...muahahaha Sorry Ibu! Anyway,I get to talk to Cik.Zulfa too,I told her I am worried about my results,I told her I may not get any A, Cik Zulfa is so sweet,she told me not to worry,I might get a couple A....I wissshhh.......u know what right now I just tawakal means let Allah decide everything...I've tried my best last year...I hope I won't dissapoint Ibu....I want to get a better result so that I can better than a teacher!I've written so much now......Another 2 days till result come out!Ok then talk to you later! bye blog!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

its loren's birthday!

Dear blog,
Ok lets start from yesterday's story,I am doing nothing big yesterday though,just sittin at my room roaming with google searching for malaysian's food picture! ouhhhh,I found this one blog that is especially for good food that can be found, I was drooling over the laptop,everytime I see good picture of malaysian's food....what?don't blame me.....I just suddenly became so fond of food......well,since I'm in America,I just keeps on eating,you know mum,lisa,and yaya is so good at cooking I just could not refuse to anything when they cook something.Oh well I don't mind eating anyway because I am not the kind of person who gain weight easily(fuhh...I'm so grateful!) Ok lets get back to yesterday's story....well,while I was looking at the picture,suddenly the phone rang and mum answered them,it was David(enget i mean),he asked us if we want to come over for supper at their house.....he is making lasagna,and...........German Chocolate cake(yoooo hoooo,I love em).Then mum leaves me alone,then we gerak to D'enget's house,I just love going to their house.It turns out that we are celebrating something too....Guess what?Brianna got accepted to enter UMC(University of Minnesota,Crookston) how fun!!!I am so happy for her....well of course I feel so I don't know how to say it,nervous I guess cuz I still don't know wheter I get to go to University or not......My result is coming out soon,like next week,duh!well later then we started eating yay.....lasagna is so yummy!I just love them! then eat dessert,then mum decided to go home,well Brianna is coming with us and spend the night at our house!yay......At home,Brianna and me settled down in my room and then she went to the toilet to take some nail polish and other crap...to paint my nails haha(dun worry I'm on HOLIDAAAY,MUAHAHA)then,I change to my lovey dovey jammies...then we lay on the bed with both of our laptop on.....then my family in Malaysia called through Skype,they must misses me awwww.....while Brianna painting my nails.....haha it felt so so good.....later Brianna was checking out on twilight so that we can watch it together,but then since it was so new,she have to find em like crazay,then i decided to watch penelope all over again.....its good....james mcavoy is soooo cute,argh....eh oklah later continue...hehe bye

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

hoi!

Dear blog,
Assalamualaikum,
ok ok today is the day where I can't pray nor fast nor reading the any verses from the holy Quran.I am not feeling good as usual,you know what I feel like lying on our couch at home in Puchong.That couch,I miss that couch so so much!!I keep on thinking about home lately....but when Yu-An emailed me, I feel a lot better.I don't know I just miss Malaysia....I don't care how shitty or crappy my life are back in Malaysia,I still want to go back and do the same old thing!hi Owh despite the not-so-good feeling,I have another thing that has been haunting me,AND THAT is Jimmy.!
Did you know Allison Olson and Brianna asked Jimmy if he want to go to prom with me?Argh I'm not good with boys....and I realized that I have weakness for smarty pants....like my ex-fakey boyfriend last two years ago,he is a really smart boy......same thing happen to Jimmy! and guess what Jimmy is a really shy boy! SAME AS ISWAN!!!ourgh why do I have to like the same kind of person......Well,we get back to the prom thingy,Jimmy said he'll think about it......owh of course,He is not going to go with me!nobody will! and today I am sneaking around like a spy just beacuse I am embarassed to see his face or to face him,but yeah I still have to see him I mean in computer class.....OURGH,I knew I should'nt let Brianna ask him to go with me!!! OK whatever now,whenever I think about people who I like and trying to get close with him,I'll feel like throwing up,bwerk I hate those kind of feeling,argh I have knowledge bowl tomorrow! I know that smarty pants Jimmy is going,but I am still gonna go though,I just hope that Fosston will be there,because I am dying to see that Philipine foreign exchange student that was hosted there in Fosston,and maybe I could ask him to prom!!! argh that would be better! I really hope that I would see him there.......and maybe I could see that really cute guy from Fosston too!!!He's so cute,,,,but I think Emily already got him!Oh well, I am only good at admiring boys from far far away..........I am never good at boys,just don't ask me when it comes to boys......And I realize that I don't need a MAN in my life!!!!!! I hate boys!They only like pretty girls like Sarah,or Nabila, or Hannah, or Amanda!!! What about me? I don't hate myself I know I am not as pretty as other girls but that's me......I am not going to change a thing about me! If I am ever going to find a boyfriend I'll make sure he like because of me ,he likes me for who I am...........ERGH,why is it so hard to find a guy like that....well I kind of almost got one last two years ago,but I pushed him away ....well oh well,I just so happen have no luck in finding myself a perfect boyfriend!!!!!! ok now whatever! I love myself!Thank Allah for giving me such chance to live in His planet,to be his creations!!! ok then Bye.....

Sunday, March 1, 2009

cik where's ur tudung ar????arrr tudung.....alamak!!I tertinggal kat umah!!pale otak ko!

Assalamualaikum,
dear blog,
I miss Malaysia so much,
I want to feel the joy of wearing tudung there,
I miss eating without feeling guilty,
I miss all kinds of food that I ould eat in Malaysia,
It's just I could eat everything that I want in Malaysia.
Ourgh I miss Malaysia so so much,
I mean I could whatever I want there,
Its just so free,despite all the politics(boo politics,that's the only thing that I hate in Malaysia)
I mean people just don't give a damn to other people who wears tudung,or have a different religion.....well,yeah before I came here,everything abut this place seems so bizzare.....
and now I realize everyplace have their own speciality....but people in Minnesota are so positive in a way how they are trying to understand and except new things and culture in their life......Well,I might really love Minnesota like 100% if I could find halal food easily and wear tudung or hijab freely all the time.......well,i just think of one place in Minnesota that I could anything like that =ST.PAUL,MN.....haha i guess i could live there without missing my family,because they have big shopping mall,lotssa people there, where people won't call weirdo just because we had our head covered......oh to the heck with that,ok let us look at the emo,punk people they are one of a kind too....well then I guess people are just prejudice about Islam....Ourgh come on,not all Muslim is violent....I mean even in the Holy Al-Quran,from what I've learnt,Islam teach us to promote peace,respect other religion,never do bad things.Even Islam itself means peace.....I just don't understand why would they send those people who are not grateful of what they get.....come on show somethang good people.....I bet they won't even remember what is my name by then.....Argh,I hate this year's malaysian's YES student they aren't that friendly,they are not that kind,they are picky when it comes to people that associates with...oh I just hate it,oh yeah just because I'm not that flattering does not mean that I can't do anything....Open your eyes don't judge a book by it's cover....that is what I am not satisfy about malaysian people they keep on judging people physically!! wth is that?,that's what I'm trying to get rid off in myself......Well,at least i had a face,I'm normal,I have brain to think! and I think Janina is stupid!Just because she can talk in English really fast,and had lotssa guy friends that does not mean she can do everything that she wanted......that doesn't mean she can make things harder on other people,one thing that i really like about her is that she has a really high self esteem,but over self esteem is bad,girl! you are making people around you to hate you! well i hate her,that;s the only thing or person (but i rather refer her as thing though) that i hate in yes program this year....I don't enjoy all the time we being together from the pre-departure camp, and the post orientation at Washington D.C.....I hate her,She ruined everything...